This afternoon I found myself weeping in a Dillard’s bathroom. My mom and I were so excited to spend the afternoon together running around town, and here I was crying. Blubbering, to be exact. Why? Because grief.
For as long as I can remember, my Grandpa would give me “Easter money” to buy a new dress. Since his passing earlier this year, I’ve built up in my mind how important it is to continue this tradition. (So noble of me to give myself a reason to buy a new dress, I know.)
Today was the day I’d continue the tradition and purchase said Easter dress, I’d decided. Except I just couldn’t find what I wanted. My mom and I searched multiple stores, but nothing seemed right. Feeling overwhelmed by the lack of a definitive answer, I became easily agitated and stressed…all over a new dress.
My mom, being the intuitive, caring person she is, sensed something more was the matter and gave me space to sort out my emotions. This dress is not just an homage to my Grandpa, but it’s also a painful reminder that he’s not here to see it.
John 11:25-26 is Easter: “Jesus said to her, ‘I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?'”
It’s everything all at once. Dying is living, grieving is celebrating, shopping is crying. What I believe is in the amazing salvation of Jesus, whose goodness perseveres even when it feels so dark.
Food for thought: What was a moment in time that was difficult but rewarding?
Rachel Fisher 