I started writing this at 10 p.m. and could’ve sworn it was well past midnight. Now it’s actually almost midnight and my brain is even more mush. Today was long…all good things culminating in a big work event…but long nonetheless. And I realized how out of shape I am.
Before the pandemic, I would feel like a failure if I didn’t have plans at least four nights a week. The way my schedule was packed could only be described as militant; I was determined to cram as much in as possible. But then the world stood still, I changed (for the better), and now my priority is quality over quantity.
Even when the situation is healthy, I have still found myself feeling drained by historically effortless achievements. A social setting like tonight that was fast-paced and well-attended would’ve thrilled me beyond compare, but I caught myself retreating several times out of friendly exhaustion.
Then I reminded myself that I’m just out of practice.
Galatians 6:4 says, “Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else.”
So often we associate judgement with others, but in reality, our own personas can be the most difficult to shake. Yes, two years after lockdown, I—along with every, single other person—have a different idea of socialization. But I also have to remind myself of the ways in which I’ve grown. I may be rusty at a large gathering, but I cherish those conversations tremendously more. Let’s all give ourselves some grace!
Food for thought: what do you miss about “the before times?” What do you like most that’s changed?
Rachel Fisher 